FISTBUMP TIMES
National News in the National Frog Language, April 2025
Welcome to the first FISTBUMP TIMES post.
There are plenty of information resources in the fantasy world of Fistbump the Sky and FISTBUMP TIMES is just one of them. However, unlike the others, FISTBUMP TIMES is released on a monthly basis and in a language we all understand – the National Frog Language.
THE ELEROOM PANDEMIC IS ON THE RISE
VICTIMS: 15 000. CURED: 5.
The recent cases of creatures suffering from the Eleroom disease have spread to fifteen thousand creatures. The victims were of different ages and came from all areas except the uninhabited Phrenezia and the isolated Pendla. Research has thus far been overseen by Baal’s Head of Healing, Dr Shroom. Starting next week, researchers from all areas will unite for a cure. This includes the Pendlan Shamans and scientists from Interstellar.
An investigation has examined the Laika territory. It was discovered that an unidentified package had brought the disease into the area. The parties involved have not yet been identified. The search is now nationwide since no Laikan merchant has ever smuggled diseases before.
The disease appears to mimic Eleroom syndrome from five hundred years ago. Symptoms include developing an elephant trunk or a mushroom on the head. After this, the infected will turn into an Eleroom within three days. Thus far, the disease has favoured those with a short temper or high energy levels.
Researchers have made progress in designing a cure and have tested it successfully on five creatures. The medical staff are currently observing the patients while they are in quarantine. If this is the same Eleroom disease as before, patients will have to take their daily doses until their next rebirth.
We urge all creatures with information about the unknown parcel to notify the authorities. Also, please keep an eye on friends and family who might have a short temper or high energy levels.
It is imperative that we stay strong and do not act hastily without proof. Creatures found guilty of attacking Laikans or Pendlans will be punished severely by being banished to the cake crust for the appropriate amount of time.
THE RUN FOR RED CONTINUES
Phrenezia, also known as “the red territory”, has been uninhabited for some time. The competition to own it is still going strong, with motives ranging from needing more space to wanting to use the red territory for research.
With the current god representatives being ineligible to run a campaign, most eyes have been glued on Codex’s leader, Nebula, and Interstellar’s Shing. Both leaders claim to be interested in acquiring Phrenezia for science. Unfortunately for Nebula, many have voiced their concerns about expanding Codex after the infamous explosion from the past. On the other hand, Petito’s leader, Khao, has steadily been gaining the public’s favour with entertaining transformations. Many have also admitted to feeling sympathy for the Petitos as their territory is infamously unlivable.
It is still unclear who will claim Phrenezia, as none of the gods has shown favour to any of the three leaders. This month’s votes will be counted towards the end of the month. Extra importance will, of course, be placed on those from Phrenezia’s neighbouring territories.
This month, the Swift tribe is making their way towards Bai and will pass through Ma-A, Hai-Kyun, Kaff-Lirla, Bambla, and Bomblo.
The Iris tribe will make fewer stops than the Swifts while going to Iab-Mum. They will reach their destination after going through Aqua, Sai, and Interstellar.
Finally, the Melody tribe’s destination is Pendla. They will reportedly be passing Jengu and Codex and likely make a stop at Magnifico.
We kindly remind all Ingredients-Borns to try to avoid physical contact with any of the nomadic tribes. Those who wish to gift food or trinkets are welcome to do so as long as touch is avoided.
As always, notice will be given a week before a tribe’s arrival as a reminder to avoid using large means of transport that might block the road. It is still unclear whether god Kala will be making an appearance. We encourage the inhabitants of Bai, Iab-Mum and Pendla to be prepared for any surprise visits from god Kala.
JOURNEY TO THE NORTHEAST
The Great Frog has been moving northeast this month. This means we will soon be passing Jupiter and Planet Milk. According to the Observers, we can expect one week of moderate heat from the blue sun, followed by a week of moderate to high temperatures where the green sun will join the blue sun. After that, it is expected that the pink sun will also join the other two suns, leading to high to unbearable temperatures. Better get the sun screens ready!
Thank you, Interstellar Observers, for providing us with information, and happy Seed Day to those of us who joined the world during the time of the Milk Planet.
AG’S CHILDREN TAKE TO THE ROAD!
The popular group of performers, Ag’s Children, have decided to start Fistbump the Sky’s very first travelling theatre! For any out of the loop, the group consists of Dulum, Marukh, Selsk, Bier, and Phaen. They decided to put their creative heads together three years ago and formed “Ag’s Children,” inspired by their shared creator. They have been dominating the charts and capturing hearts ever since.
The exciting news was revealed by Dulum during an interview for Bump Bump Entertainment. They’ll be kicking off with a world tour starting in Magnifico and ending in Interstellar. Fans can expect new original songs and over-the-top performances. Tickets are on sale on the fifteenth of Mars, with prices ranging from ten shells to twenty. Seats are limited, so make sure to get yours before it’s too late!
